The other night I was talking to my mother. We were ignoring the football game in the basement over whiskey and music. I brought up the fact that I am in what I call my “fuckit” thirties. I take very little bullshit right now. I’m accused of calling things as they are without remorse. I mentioned to my mother that for the first time in my life I actually kind of like my body and feel sexy in it. She said, “Oh, thirties are the best. I LOVED my body in the thirties. If I could I would go back make better use of the body I had.” My mom and I talk like sisters, so this wasn’t surprising to me. It was nice to know that this was a familial trait, somehow. She said, “Ever since you were a little girl you’ve just had… something. Even as a child you had a swish in your step. You never walked anywhere. You sashay. Always have.” The femme in me was born young. Now she’s grown up and so much more confident..

At this point in my life, I am more alive than I ever have been. More open. Much much more sexual. (If you’ve read any of my other blogs, you’ve noticed a reoccurring theme.) Allow me to expand. If you’ve ever been attracted to a femme, you know that there is just…something. It’s strong and soft all at the same time. It’s hard to categorize without using the word, sex or sexy. Femmes at this stage are what every butch dreams of in their deepest and most saturated fantasies. 

Here are a few tips if you are married to, dating or interested in a femme in her “fuckit” thirties…

She will tell you anything if she thinks that you are sincere. She’ll know if you’re not. Tell her the things about yourself that are honest and not rehearsed. She will know the real you anyway. Answer her and look her in the eye. When she looks in your eyes, she will see the real you. She can see your fear, your love, your insecurities. Let her. She will be impressed that you let her in. Only a true butch is worth the time to her. She will touch you with words that heat up your senses and make your head spin. She will talk directly to your soul. You will feel her heat, her want, her ache from across the room. More than just lust. However, her lust will turn your world upside down. Make love to her. Don’t just fuck her. No sex… make love to every part of her. Make her wet with anticipation..of all that you are. If you are her lover, whether it’s your first time with her or you’ve been lovers for years, each time is a new dance. Each time she needs to feel your hunger… must feel it.

The way you look her can determine her next move. She could be forward and pin you to your own bed holding you down until she’s gotten what she wants from you. She will not be giggly and unsure. She knows what she wants… and how to get it from you. She wants your awe of her. Your admiration and submission to her as you expose your own need. As you open yourself wide to her touch and her soul..

With the right look, though, you could disarm her. Make her feel safe and free. She’ll want you to know where to touch her. That everywhere is fair game. She’ll want you to make her open up from the inside. Each layer of clothing and each layer of defense you take off of her must be done with intention. Love. Hunger…aching need that she thrives upon. No performace will do. No young stud.. no cocky boi-ish antics or games. She beyond all of that. She wants you to take her… Take her.She won’t hide her pleasure. She’ll want you to handle her with care and confidence. She will take you… over and over. If you aren’t careful, she’ll take everything you have and leave you vulnerable.. to her affections. She’s counting on it. A love like you’ve never ever seen in real life. She the kind of lover that is unmatched… and she knows it.

She will turn your world upside down, so do no approach her if you are unsure. She’s had enough to know what she wants. This time in a woman’s life is not often discussed, but a femme knows of it. Every femme can feel it inside even if she doesn’t take advantage of it. It’s what makes us incredible…. A femme in her “fuckit” thirties is like a treasure.. something rare and valuable. She’s worth the price and the return will be immeasurable…