A good friend brought up the topic of nudity and considering how my week has been going, it’s been stuck in my mind. We were discussing being on vacation with friends and at one my point my friend says, “I have this ‘couple’ friend that has a sauna at their lake property. When we are all up there in a group we sauna together. Naked. It’s really great.” Ok.. saunas naked alone, sure. In a group… I don’t think so. Maybe it’s just my prudish American upbringing or the fact that I was taught to hold my stomach in at 7 years old.. I’m not sure, but I couldn’t wrap my head around that concept. Communal nudity.

Besides being naked in a group, it’s a group of women. Lesbians. Butch and femme alike. While it kinda sounds like a fantasy, it’s not my reality. I’m pretty chicken shit to be in a group of attractive women and be naked. What if I didn’t know I would be attracted to one of them and then, boom. Awkward.. Try to remember that I’m in my 30’s and, well, peaking. Sexually. Anything can happen to me right now. I swear. 

Sure, everyone is naked from time to time. Headed to the shower, getting out of the shower, midnight snacks etc. The only time I actually enjoy being naked is when I first wake up. My body feels slim and soft, still warm from being cocooned under the covers as Cancers tend to do.. I walk around the bed and pass my full length mirror and think, not bad today. There are no clothing outlines embedded into my skin from my jeans or my lacy Victoria’s Secret bra. No marks or scratches, just soft smooth warm skin. After that, it all gets covered strategically to enhance the parts I like and diminish the areas that could use a little work. 

The specific area I refer to is my stomach. It’s not taught and firm. It’s soft and extends too far to the sides. It’s also white as porcelain because it never ever sees the light of day. I don’t mind my ass, my arms are a little big, but they’re still on my “ok” list. I think I have nice legs and I like my breasts. I really like those, actually… You should have a part of your body you truly love. Those are it for me. I feel well proportioned.. until I get to my tummy. My whole life I have wished that I dipped in dramatically at the waist. I do not. There’s a small indent, but if I didn’t have my breasts, I would look like a box. Women are often categorized as apples or pears. The feminist in me gets pretty pissed at that, but the femme in me has a very Marilyn Monroe-esque vision of herself and gets … kinda disappointed when the picture doesn’t match.

I do not think that liking my breasts are enough to get me naked and into a sauna.. with other people. In fact, liking my breasts maybe a good enough reason to stay out of said communal sauna, period. Seems like a breeding ground for a ménage-bunch. Still having the same problem as earlier this week. See Sexual Peak. I’m not very good at sharing either. Anyway, I digress. Back to the sauna. So, my friend also has this theory: You can’t get naked in the group sauna with someone you’re attracted to. She says it like the lie you can’t hide. You can get naked with friends, but not with a friend-turned-interest. It doesn’t work. Interesting. Considering I will not ever be presented with this decision, I can safely say that there is no way on God’s green earth that I could get naked in a sauna with.. anyone. Ever.

When my wife and I were courting, I told her that I didn’t think I would ever be able to get completely naked in the light with her. She was sooo physically fit and I’m.. well, curvy.  Not physically fit. No fat, just soft. Supple. Ample. You get the picture. I do wish I liked my body more. When people tell me it’s nice, I have a very hard time accepting their praise. Truly. So this communal nudity thing threw me for a loop. I did, eventually, cave and she seems to enjoy my body. That’s been very helpful over the years. 

So, tell me.. Could you go into a sauna naked with a group of your friends..?

By the way… do not google nudity while at work. I was just looking for a header image.. honest.. wow..